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Sometimes Finding the Right Home Means Rethinking What You Thought You Wanted
I once worked with a young couple who had a very specific picture of their dream home. They wanted a cabin in the woods. Ideally, it would have acreage, perhaps even waterfront, or at least be close to the water. They imagined a place surrounded by trees, away from the city, where they could enjoy a little privacy and the beauty of the Pacific Northwest.
One thing was especially clear. They did not want to live in Bremerton. They didn’t want to live in a city at all. So we began looking at homes that fit their vision, searching for rural properties with land and that wonderful feeling of being tucked away from everything.
The problem wasn’t necessarily that we couldn’t find properties in their price range. It was what those properties offered for the money. When you purchase acreage, a significant portion of what you’re paying for is the land itself. In their budget, that meant many of the homes we were finding needed considerable work. Now, the husband was handy, and his father was handy too. They weren’t necessarily afraid of tackling projects. But as we toured these homes, it became increasingly clear that they would be taking on a lot of work just to have the location and acreage they wanted.
Then something interesting happened. One day, they started sending me listings for homes in Bremerton. Not on the outskirts. Not tucked away in some rural corner. Right in the city. I looked at the listings and thought, Wait a minute. This isn’t what we’ve been talking about at all.
So before scheduling showings, I asked them what had changed. Their response was one of those moments that reminds me why I love working with buyers. They told me they’d been reevaluating their expectations. They realized that the cabin in the woods, the acreage, and perhaps even the waterfront were dreams for a later home. Right now, they needed to find their first home, and that realization changed everything.
What Happens When You Change the Question?
Once this couple began considering homes in Bremerton, they discovered something they hadn’t expected. They could get considerably more house for their money. At the time, there were lovely older homes in Bremerton that fit their budget. Some were beautiful little bungalows dating back to the early twentieth century, along with homes from the 1930s and 1940s.
Unlike many of the rural properties we’d toured, some of these homes had already been updated. We were walking through houses with quartz countertops, refreshed bathrooms, and improvements that made them comfortable and appealing without requiring an enormous amount of immediate work. Suddenly, they weren’t choosing between owning land and spending their weekends renovating a house. They were finding homes where they could move in and start enjoying their lives.
What’s interesting is that I never sensed disappointment from them about changing direction. The disappointment had actually come earlier, when they were touring rural properties and realizing how much work those homes needed. Once they changed their expectations, they became excited about the possibilities. They could see themselves enjoying a home with modern conveniences and updated spaces, even if that home wasn’t situated on several acres of land.
Eventually, we found them a home in Bremerton that they absolutely loved. And here’s the part that still makes me smile. Their home is surrounded by enough trees that it has some of that tucked away feeling they’d originally wanted. Yet it’s literally about a block from Wendy’s. Not exactly the remote cabin in the woods they’d first imagined!
But they were thrilled with their purchase. They’ve been making personal touches to the house, turning it into a place that reflects who they are. Their story reminds me that sometimes we get so attached to the picture in our minds that we overlook other possibilities that might actually make us happier.
I Want My Buyers to Dream First
When I first sit down with buyers, I often ask them a question that might seem a little unusual. “If money were no object, what kind of home would you want?”
I love asking that question because it gives people permission to dream. Sometimes they have fun with it. They’ll describe a house with 15 bedrooms, 37 bathrooms, an indoor swimming pool, and enough space to host a small convention. And that’s fine! We’re dreaming. But somewhere in those extravagant descriptions, people usually begin mentioning things that are genuinely important to them.
Maybe they want a large kitchen because they love cooking for family and friends. Perhaps they’d like a covered outdoor space where they can sit and enjoy the rain. They might want a workshop, room for pets, or enough space for family members to visit comfortably. Those details tell me something useful because even if we can’t find the house with 37 bathrooms, we might be able to find the things that would make their daily lives better.
I don’t want buyers to feel that they have to give up dreaming just because they have a budget. I want them to understand which parts of the dream are most important. And sometimes that requires asking a few more questions. It’s not simply about making a list of bedrooms, bathrooms, and square footage. It’s about understanding what they want their lives to look like inside the home and how the property can support those plans.
What Do You Really Want That Yard For?
I once worked with a gentleman who wanted a large yard. Now, when someone says they want a large yard, it’s easy to imagine beautiful landscaping, flower beds, gardens, shrubs, and maybe some lovely outdoor entertaining areas. But that wasn’t what he wanted at all.
He wanted grass. A nice, straightforward patch of grass that he could maintain with a lawn mower. He didn’t want flower beds to weed, bushes to trim, or extensive landscaping to maintain. As he was getting older, he wanted to be realistic about the amount of physical work required to care for his property. What he really wanted was enough outdoor space for his grandson to come over and play.
That changed how I thought about his search. We weren’t simply looking for a house with a large lot. We were looking for a place where he could enjoy spending time with his grandson without creating a demanding maintenance routine for himself. That’s a very different goal, and one I wouldn’t necessarily have understood if I’d simply written “large yard” on his wish list and moved on.
It’s why I ask questions about how people plan to use the spaces they’re requesting. Sometimes the reason behind a particular feature is far more important than the feature itself. When I understand what buyers are hoping to accomplish, I can recognize possibilities they might not have considered.
A Home Should Fit the Way You Actually Live
I’m currently working with buyers who are sisters planning to live together during their retirement years. They want to share a home, but they also recognize the importance of having their own spaces. One of their preferences is finding a house where the bedrooms are on opposite sides of the home.
That might seem like a very specific request, but when you understand why they want it, it makes perfect sense. They want the companionship of living together, with shared areas where they can spend time, while still enjoying privacy and independence. They’re thinking about how the home will function on an ordinary Tuesday, not just how beautiful it might look when they first walk through the door.
They would also like some land around the property because they’re thinking about their brother’s future. Ideally, they’d like to have room where he might eventually be able to live in an RV or perhaps an accessory dwelling unit, if the property and local regulations allow it.
These aren’t random features on a wish list. They’re planning for the way they want their family to live, both now and in the years ahead. That’s the kind of information I want to understand when helping someone find a home. A house can have the perfect number of bedrooms and bathrooms and still not function well for the people living in it. Sometimes the layout, the location, or the way a property can be used is more important than the numbers on the listing.
Sometimes the Answer Is a Different Kind of Home
One of my youngest buyers was just 23 years old when he purchased his first home. He had a fairly limited budget, and there was one feature he felt strongly about. He needed a garage because he owned a classic car, and having a place to keep it was important to him.
We started looking for houses with garages, but within his price range, those properties were proving difficult to find. So we began considering alternatives. He wondered whether we could find a home with a carport that might eventually be enclosed and converted into a garage. We explored that possibility, but nothing quite worked out.
Eventually, we found a townhome style condominium that already had a garage and was well within his budget. It provided the feature he wanted at a price he could afford. He didn’t have to give up the thing that was most important to him. He just had to be open to a different kind of property.
He’s a young man with big plans. He’s been working overtime and thinking about what he wants to accomplish financially. He sees this first home as a possible stepping stone toward another purchase, or perhaps a property he could rent out someday. Those future plans will depend on his circumstances and the market, of course, but I appreciate that he’s thinking about where he wants to go.
What I love about his story is that he didn’t have to give up the garage. He simply discovered that the home providing it might look different from what he originally expected. Sometimes a condominium or townhome is a better fit than a detached house. Sometimes a smaller house in a convenient location is a better fit than a larger one farther away. The right property type depends on what you’re trying to accomplish, and being open to different possibilities can make a real difference in the search.
The House You Need Today May Be Different From the House You’ll Need Tomorrow
I have buyers under contract right now who originally hoped to find a home with two bathrooms. But as we explored the available homes and considered their budget, they realized that having two bathrooms wasn’t as important as they initially thought.
They’re currently living in a studio apartment, so moving into a two bedroom, one bathroom house will give them significantly more space than they have now. Would a second bathroom be nice? Of course. But is it essential for them to take this next step? They decided it wasn’t, and that decision opened up more possibilities within their budget.
That brings me to something I wish more first time buyers understood. Your first home doesn’t have to be your forever home. It’s perfectly reasonable to have a vision of where you’d eventually like to live. Maybe you want acreage, a waterfront property, a larger home for your growing family, or a beautiful place where you can entertain everyone for the holidays. But you don’t necessarily have to achieve every one of those dreams with your first purchase.
Sometimes the best first home is the one that gives you a comfortable, financially manageable place to begin. Your needs will likely change over time anyway. You might purchase a two bedroom home when it’s just the two of you. Then you have a baby, and that second bedroom becomes the nursery. A few years later, perhaps another baby is on the way, and suddenly the home that worked beautifully for your family of three feels a little too small.
Or maybe your circumstances change in another direction. A spouse passes away. You decide to move closer to family. You adopt a dog and discover that having a fenced yard would make life easier. Life changes, and the homes that fit our lives can change with it. That doesn’t mean the home you purchased earlier was the wrong choice. It may have been exactly the right home for that season of your life.
Sometimes I Learn More by Watching Than Listening
One of my favorite parts of touring homes with buyers is watching how they react to the spaces we walk through. Of course, I listen carefully to what they tell me, but I also pay attention to the little things. Sometimes a buyer walks into a room, pauses, and slowly looks around. You can almost see them imagining where their furniture would go. Other times, someone runs a hand across a beautiful quartz countertop, stops for a moment, and takes in the kitchen.
Then there are those unmistakable reactions when someone enters a room and lets out a delighted little gasp. I love those moments because I can see the buyer beginning to picture what it might be like to live there, even before they’ve found the words to explain it.
Of course, not everyone is quite so expressive. Every now and then, I work with an engineer or someone who is extremely even keeled, and those buyers can be particularly entertaining to figure out. Their excitement level might increase by the tiniest fraction, and I have to watch closely to determine whether they just found the home of their dreams or are merely pleased that the floor plan makes sense.
That’s when asking questions becomes especially important. A pause might mean someone loves a room, but it could also mean they’ve noticed something they don’t like. So I’ll ask what they’re thinking or what caught their attention. I want to understand their reaction rather than assume I know what it means.
As we tour more properties, I begin to recognize patterns. Sometimes buyers discover that a feature they thought was essential isn’t quite as important as they believed. Other times, they realize they love something they hadn’t even thought to include on their original wish list. That’s one of the reasons I enjoy the home search process so much. We’re not just looking for a house. We’re learning what kind of home will make sense for the people who will live there.
You Can’t Change Everything About a Home
There’s another piece of advice I regularly share with my buyers. If you find a home online that interests you, go drive through the neighborhood, preferably at a time when people are home and you can get a better sense of the area.
You might love the photos of a particular house, but those pictures won’t necessarily tell you everything about its surroundings. Maybe there’s a neighboring property that isn’t maintained the way you’d prefer. Perhaps the street is busier than you expected, or there’s an odor or nearby activity you wouldn’t have known about from looking at the listing.
You might discover that you really enjoy the neighborhood, or you might decide it isn’t somewhere you’d be comfortable living. Either discovery is useful. I encourage buyers to experience the area for themselves because different people have different preferences, and what feels perfectly comfortable to one person might not work for another.
While you can paint walls, update countertops, replace flooring, or remodel a bathroom, you can’t pick up a house and move it to another location. That’s why I think it’s important for buyers to experience more than just the interior of a property before making a decision.
The couple who purchased in Bremerton learned that firsthand as they explored neighborhoods they’d originally ruled out. They discovered areas they liked and others that didn’t fit their preferences. Eventually, they found a home that gave them the combination of location, condition, and surroundings that worked for them. Sometimes the neighborhood deserves just as much consideration as the house itself.
How Do I Know When We’ve Found the Right Home?
People sometimes wonder how you know when you’ve found the right house. Is it a certain feeling when you walk through the door? Is it when the home checks every box on your wish list? Is it when the numbers work out perfectly?
For me, there’s something that happens after the purchase that tells me just as much as anything I observe during the search. It’s when I follow up with my buyers a month or two or three after they’ve moved in. I’ll ask how everything is going, and they’ll start telling me about the things they’ve done to the house.
Maybe they’ve painted a room or started a project in the backyard. Sometimes they’ll send me pictures of their updates, and sometimes I don’t even have to ask. My phone will light up with a message from a past buyer, and there will be pictures of a project they’ve completed, a paint color they’ve chosen, or something they’re excited to share.
I love getting those messages because what I’m seeing isn’t just a person who purchased a house. I’m seeing someone who is making that house their home. They’re putting their own personality into it, making plans, creating spaces they enjoy, and building memories. They’re excited enough about what they’re doing that they want to share it with me, and that’s when I feel especially good about the work we’ve done together.
The Right Home for This Chapter
When I think back to that young couple who originally wanted their cabin in the woods, I don’t see two people who gave up on a dream. I see two people who figured out what was right for them at that moment in their lives.
Their dream of owning acreage or waterfront property may still be part of their future. But right now, they’re enjoying the home they purchased in Bremerton. They’re making improvements, putting their personal touches on the property, and creating a place they’re happy to call their own.
That’s what I hope for every buyer I work with. I don’t need someone to find a house they’ll live in for the next 50 years, and I don’t need them to purchase every feature they can imagine. I want them to find a home that fits their needs, their financial circumstances, and the life they want to live right now.
Sometimes that means discovering that the big yard they want is really about having room for a grandson to play. Sometimes it means recognizing that a condominium with a garage is a better choice than a detached house without one. Sometimes it means realizing that the beautiful home on acreage can wait until another chapter. And sometimes it means finding a place surrounded by trees, even if it’s only a block from Wendy’s.
I know I’ve helped my buyers find the right home when they can’t imagine themselves living anywhere else at that moment in time. Then, months later, when they send me pictures of their freshly painted walls, their latest project, or the little changes that make the place feel like theirs, I get to see that decision come to life.
That’s one of my favorite parts of this business because finding the right home isn’t about finding perfection. It’s about finding a place where your life can happen, where you can make memories, and where you can feel comfortable being yourself.
And sometimes, that place looks nothing like the house you thought you were looking for.
Jessica Contreras
WA LIC#23005400
(951) 537-7460
Jessica is a buyer specialist with The Contreras Team at Windermere Professional Partners, where she focuses on helping first time homebuyers and clients shopping for vacation and second homes in Kitsap County. She is known for her calm, patient approach and her ability to turn an overwhelming process into something clear and manageable.
Jessica is an Accredited Buyer’s Representative (ABR®), recognized by the National Association of Realtors, and she holds the Commitment to Excellence (C2EX) endorsement, reflecting her ongoing dedication to professional growth, ethics, and client care.
Her goal is simple: help people make confident decisions at their own pace, with clarity, honesty, and support every step of the way.
