Before You Fall in Love With a House, Let’s Talk About Three Numbers

One of my favorite things about being a real estate broker is helping buyers find a place to call home. I love watching people walk through a house and begin imagining their lives there. They picture where the furniture will go, what they’ll do with the backyard, and where the Christmas tree might look best. It’s exciting, and I genuinely enjoy being part of that experience.

But there’s something I ask my buyers to do before we ever walk through that first house. I want them to talk with a loan officer or mortgage broker and get preapproved. I know. That’s probably not the fun part you were hoping to hear about. Most people would rather open Zillow or Redfin, scroll through beautiful homes, save their favorites, and start dreaming. There’s nothing wrong with doing that. In fact, it can be a wonderful way to begin discovering what you like.

But when you’re ready to move from dreaming about a house to actually shopping for one, we need to know what you can realistically purchase. And I have a very simple reason for insisting on that. I don’t like breaking people’s hearts.

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

I’ve talked with plenty of potential buyers who are reluctant to speak with a lender. Some are convinced they won’t qualify because home prices have gone up. Others worry about interest rates, their credit scores, or whether they’ve saved enough money for a down payment. I frequently hear people say they need 20 percent down before they can even think about purchasing a home.

That’s simply not true. There are mortgage programs that allow qualified buyers to purchase with considerably less than 20 percent down. Some eligible buyers may even qualify for programs requiring no down payment. That doesn’t mean everyone qualifies for every program, or that purchasing with a smaller down payment is always the right decision. It means there may be options worth exploring, and you won’t know what those options are until you have the conversation.

Sometimes buyers are worried that speaking with a lender will affect their credit score. That’s a reasonable question, and one a loan officer can explain before checking their credit. Other buyers are simply afraid of hearing the word no. They may have spent years imagining what it would be like to own a home, and they’re afraid that talking with a lender will put an end to that dream.

When someone tells me they’re worried a lender will say they can’t purchase a home, my response is usually pretty straightforward. You don’t know what you don’t know. A good loan officer can help you understand whether you’re financially ready to purchase today. If you aren’t, they can explain what may need to change before you can qualify.

Maybe you need to pay down some debt. Maybe your credit needs attention. Perhaps you need more time to save money or establish the income history required for a particular loan program. Whatever the situation, wouldn’t you rather know? I think it’s far better to discover that you need to spend six months preparing than to spend those same six months wondering whether buying a home will ever be possible.

Sometimes the Answer Is Not Yet

I’m currently working with buyers who are a wonderful example of why I encourage people to start with a lender. They first explored buying a home more than a year ago, but they weren’t quite ready. There were some credit issues they needed to work through, and they needed time to put themselves in a better financial position.

So that’s what they did. They spent the following year addressing those issues and getting themselves ready for the possibility of purchasing a home. Eventually, another real estate broker referred them to me because they wanted to purchase in an area where I had previous experience. Now they’re under contract on a home and preparing to close.

Think about that for a moment. A little over a year ago, these buyers weren’t ready to purchase. Rather than giving up, they learned what needed to happen and did the work. Their story isn’t a guarantee that everyone can become mortgage ready within a year. Every financial situation is different, and some challenges take longer to resolve than others. But it demonstrates something I wish more people understood.

Not being ready today doesn’t necessarily mean homeownership is out of reach. Sometimes it simply means there’s work to do before you’re ready to take that next step. And I’d much rather help someone make a plan for the future than see them give up on a dream because they’re afraid to ask a question.

Sometimes the Answer Is Better Than You Expected

I’ve also worked with buyers who were convinced they wouldn’t qualify for much of a mortgage, only to discover that they were approved for considerably more than they expected. You might think that would be exciting news, and sometimes it is. Other times, the approval amount actually scares them.

I remember conversations where buyers looked at the amount a lender was willing to approve and wondered how on earth they could afford a house that expensive. That’s when I explain something I believe every buyer needs to understand. Just because a lender approves you for a certain amount doesn’t mean you have to spend that much.

A lender’s job is to evaluate your financial qualifications and determine what you may be eligible to borrow. But that number doesn’t automatically account for the kind of life you want to live, the things you enjoy spending money on, or the amount of financial flexibility that helps you feel comfortable. Those are decisions only you can make.

In fact, I teach my buyers to think about three different numbers before we begin shopping for homes. It’s a conversation I like to have early because it gives us a much clearer picture of what we’re looking for and helps prevent some difficult decisions later.

The Three Numbers Every Buyer Should Know

The first number is what the lender says you’re qualified to borrow. This is based on the lender’s evaluation of your financial information, including income, debts, credit, and other factors. It’s an important number because it helps establish the financing available to you. But it’s not necessarily your shopping budget.

The second number is what you’re comfortable spending. Let’s imagine a buyer is approved for a $500,000 home. That’s wonderful. They have options. But after looking at their household budget, they decide that they’re comfortable with a monthly housing payment of approximately $2,000.

For illustration, let’s say their lender calculates that a $350,000 home would produce that payment, including the applicable housing costs. Guess what? Their shopping budget is $350,000. It doesn’t matter that they’ve been approved to purchase something more expensive. If $350,000 gives them a payment they’re comfortable making every month, that’s the number we’re going to use.

I want my buyers to be able to enjoy their homes after they purchase them. That means having money for groceries, utilities, transportation, savings, entertainment, and all the other expenses that make up their lives. It also means recognizing that owning a home comes with maintenance and unexpected repairs. I don’t want someone to purchase a beautiful home and then spend every month worrying about how they’re going to pay for everything else.

A home should contribute to your life, not consume your entire financial existence. There’s nothing particularly enjoyable about having a beautiful kitchen if you’re constantly worried about how you’re going to afford groceries to put in it.

Then There’s the Sneaky Third Number

The third number is the one I find particularly interesting. It’s the amount a buyer could responsibly stretch to if they found a home that offered something especially valuable.

Let’s go back to our example. Our buyer is comfortable with a $2,000 monthly housing payment. But after carefully reviewing their finances, they determine they could manage $2,200 without creating financial hardship or sacrificing important savings goals. That’s their third number.

Now, this doesn’t mean we’re suddenly going to start shopping at the higher price point. Our original budget remains the starting point. But if we discover a home that offers something particularly meaningful, we already know there’s a little flexibility. The important part is establishing that flexibility before falling in love with a house.

Otherwise, it’s easy to convince yourself that you can afford just a little more, and then a little more after that. Those small increases can eventually turn into a monthly payment that isn’t so comfortable anymore. I want buyers to make that decision thoughtfully, with a clear understanding of their finances, rather than in the middle of an emotional conversation about a house they desperately want.

When Spending a Little More Makes Sense

I’ve worked with buyers who had good reasons for considering homes slightly above their original comfort range. One buyer chose to stretch his budget because of the home’s location. It was within walking distance of his workplace and close to public transportation. That meant he didn’t necessarily need to rely on a vehicle for every trip.

For him, the location offered convenience and flexibility that were worth considering. There’s also a financial side to that decision. Depending on someone’s transportation expenses, living closer to work may reduce other costs. Of course, those savings should be calculated rather than assumed, but it’s a good example of why a home shouldn’t be evaluated on its price alone.

I’ve also worked with buyers who recognized potential in homes that needed some updating. They were willing to take on improvements because they believed the property could be a worthwhile investment. That approach can make sense for someone who understands the costs involved and has the financial ability to handle repairs. But it also requires being realistic about the time, money, and effort those improvements will involve.

Other buyers have stretched slightly because of something very specific about a home’s layout. Maybe they really need three bedrooms instead of two. Perhaps having a second bathroom would make an enormous difference in their daily lives. Those are features that may be difficult or expensive to add later, so it’s reasonable to consider how much value they would add to everyday life.

What I want buyers to consider is whether the additional expense provides enough value to justify it. There isn’t one right answer for everyone. A feature that is essential to one household might be completely unnecessary to another. My job is to help buyers think through those decisions before they make a commitment, so they feel comfortable with both the home and the payment.

Why I Don’t Usually Show Homes Before Preapproval

Occasionally, someone asks if we can start touring homes while they’re working on financing. Generally, I prefer to wait until they’re preapproved. That doesn’t mean they can’t browse homes online. Please do! Look at houses, explore neighborhoods, save pictures, and start figuring out what appeals to you. There’s plenty you can learn during that stage of the process.

But physically walking through a home creates a different kind of emotional connection. You might step into a kitchen and immediately imagine cooking holiday dinners there. You might see a backyard and picture your children playing outside. Maybe there’s a room that would be perfect for your home office, or a porch where you can imagine enjoying your morning coffee.

Suddenly, this isn’t just a house you saw online. It’s a place where you can picture your future, and those feelings can develop remarkably quickly. Now imagine discovering that the house you’ve fallen in love with is financially out of reach. That’s disappointing, and sometimes genuinely heartbreaking.

I’d much rather help you establish a realistic budget first and then explore homes you have a reasonable opportunity to purchase. Getting preapproved also doesn’t necessarily require weeks of waiting. Depending on your financial circumstances and how quickly you provide the necessary documents, some lenders can complete the process within a few days. More complicated situations may take longer, but either way, it’s worth having that conversation before becoming emotionally invested in a particular property.

Your First Home Doesn’t Have to Be Your Forever Home

There’s another expectation I sometimes encounter with first time buyers. They want their first home to look like the home their parents or grandparents eventually owned. They remember the big family house with plenty of bedrooms, a beautiful yard, space for everyone to gather, and all those wonderful memories. Naturally, they want something similar for themselves.

But there’s something important to remember. That house may not have been their grandparents’ first home. Perhaps they started in a small house with one bathroom. Maybe they moved several times as their family grew, their careers developed, and their financial circumstances changed. The home you remember from childhood may have been the result of decades of work and several earlier homes.

It’s not necessarily reasonable to expect your first purchase to look like someone else’s final destination. Homeownership can evolve alongside your life, and there’s nothing wrong with starting somewhere modest. Your first home might be a two bedroom house, a condominium, or a townhouse. It might need some cosmetic updates, or it might not have every feature you’ve imagined.

That doesn’t make it a lesser achievement. It simply makes it your starting point.

Over time, your needs may change. Your household might grow. You may decide to move closer to work, find a home with fewer stairs, or relocate somewhere entirely different. Your first home doesn’t need to meet every need you’ll ever have. It needs to make sense for the life you’re living now, while allowing you to plan responsibly for the future.

Homeownership Is a Journey, Not a Test

Buying a home can be hard work. There’s paperwork, financial preparation, difficult decisions, inspections, deadlines, and sometimes a little emotional turbulence along the way. I wouldn’t want anyone to think the process is always simple, and I certainly wouldn’t want someone to purchase a home before they’re financially prepared to take on the responsibility.

But for people who are financially ready and plan to stay in a home long enough, ownership can offer significant benefits. It can create stability, allow you to make a place your own, and provide opportunities to build equity over time. It also comes with responsibilities and risks, which is why I want buyers to enter the process with a clear understanding of what they’re taking on.

More than anything, I want people to know that they don’t have to figure everything out before having their first conversation. That’s what the professionals are there to help with. If you’re worried about your credit, ask a lender. If you don’t know whether you’ve saved enough money, ask a lender. If you’re wondering whether you can afford a home in today’s market, ask a lender. And if the answer is that you’re not quite ready, ask what you can do to change that.

You may be closer than you think, or you may discover that you have some work ahead of you. Either way, you’ll have something far more useful than a guess. You’ll have a starting point and a clearer understanding of what needs to happen next.

Let’s Start With a Conversation

If you’ve been dreaming about owning a home but haven’t taken that first step because you’re afraid of what a lender might say, here’s what I want you to remember. You don’t know what you don’t know.

You don’t have to be financially perfect to begin asking questions. You don’t have to know every mortgage program or understand every detail of the buying process. You simply need to be willing to find out where you stand, and then decide what makes sense for you.

And when the time comes to start shopping, we’ll talk about those three numbers. What the lender says you can borrow, what you’re comfortable spending, and what you could responsibly stretch to for the right home.

Because my goal isn’t to help you buy the most expensive house you qualify for. It’s to help you find a home that fits your life, your needs, and your financial comfort.

That’s the kind of purchase I want you to feel good about long after you’ve received the keys.

 

Jessica Contreras
WA LIC#23005400
(951) 537-7460

_{Jessica is a buyer specialist with The Contreras Team at Windermere Professional Partners, where she focuses on helping first time homebuyers and clients shopping for vacation and second homes in Kitsap County. She is known for her calm, patient approach and her ability to turn an overwhelming process into something clear and manageable.}

_{Jessica is an Accredited Buyer’s Representative (ABR®), recognized by the National Association of Realtors, and she holds the Commitment to Excellence (C2EX) endorsement, reflecting her ongoing dedication to professional growth, ethics, and client care.}

_{Her goal is simple: help people make confident decisions at their own pace, with clarity, honesty, and support every step of the way.}